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06-09-2024: Pressure

I’ve been feeling pretty discouraged at work lately. I seem to crumple whenever there are real stakes to what I’m doing. This is a problem for a career that I feel somewhat defined by. If there are no stakes, then I’m happy, but then what’s the point. If there are stakes, then I struggle and disappoint myself.

I’m almost 29 at the time of writing this post, and it bothers me that I’m still figuring this out.

It feels like I should I be satisfied with any of the pithy common sense responses I can think of:

I wish there was a way to translate a thought more directly into an internalized feeling.